12.29.2004
Reason #327 why laptops rock: You can blog while peeing.
Thats right. The laptop is sitting on my lap as I pee. But I am done now so I guess I will just blog from the toliet.
Ha. I just gave you all a nice visual.
Christmas was OK.. I guess.
Like, the things I love the most about Christmas were virtually ignored and dismissed this christmas.
First, Christmas morning we just tore through the presents like there was no tomorrow. If I was 7 still this would have rocked. In my family the way we USED to do it was open 1 at a time, taking turns. Everyone gets to see what you get, you laugh over the weird gifts from distant relatives who arnt there, and you get that warm gushy feeling that you get when someone you love opens a gift you know they will love from you or that you were aware of. No. We didn't do this. Haphasardly opened the gifts, threw away the paper, and then started on a new one. No sactity of the gift itself. Christmas was MATERIALIZED. Gah.
Second, christmas dinner was segregated. My uncles dining room table only had room for 10. This means that the "adults" were seperated from the "children" (children meaning anyone who was still in college as I was the youngest there. The oldest was 23.) A) I didnt know ANY Of the people I was eating with B) I was separated from my mothers C) You will not fucking BELIEVE how boring all the peope I ate with were. Jesus. The most INTERESTING thing we talked about was fucking heart burn. GOD WE ARE IN COLLEGE. Do we NEEEEEEED to act like 40 year olds. It blew.
After dinner I ran up stairs to call daylin and sulk. My mom soon joined me and I had a good cry with her about how much everything about christmas sucked and ruined it for me.
I got over it. But it sucks that it blew.
I miss my traditions of togetherness and gift giving.
Oh well.
My butt is starting to hurt. I will blog about my kick ass day with daylin later :)
*kissed* @ 3:00 AM
12.23.2004
Can't sleep. Why? cuz I am an insomniac. The only time I can sleep is when daylin is next to me.
Weird huh? I can sleep other times to. But he eases me, clears my mind, and is constant warmth.
and the way he holds me is like a narcotic. It just knocks me out.
Maybe next time I am with him I will stay up all night just so I can feel every moment of being held or holding him.
I know the causes of tonights insomnia. Its missing my dad. I have been so busy all month i havnt had time to miss him. Now that everything is done in my life... shit. I miss him so much.
Its almost my third christmas without him.
I cant type about this any more.
*kissed* @ 5:08 AM
12.22.2004
btw.
Granny. Driving. Me. Crazy.
Mom is seeming happier. Prob. cuz I am home but I am hopping its due to some growth and acceptance.
I can't even fucking imagine what its like to have your whole life planned out with your husband and then for that to be ruined and to be alone.
If there is something I can do to help her, please someone tell me what it is. PLEASE.
*kissed* @ 3:50 AM
Just one last kiss before I go
I need it like I need air
I feel it in my finger tips
Then it travels to my palms
It lingers there teasing and tingling
Then up my arms
It forces them to go limp
Or maybe to grasp harder
Then it pulls into my veins
Where its pumped into my heart
My heart skips a few beats
Then pumps it into my stomach
Where it stirs up the butterflys
Which fly their way to my legs
Hold me up
Butterflies make your legs weak
*kissed* @ 3:50 AM
Oh. My. God.
Has kelsea gotten over the past?
I think so.
Thats amazing.
Any way.
Party was FUN. Great treat to get to know Josh in the short time I did.
Daylin was wasted. Hot as hell, but wasted :P
He threw up. It was kinda nice to take care of him and hear him say into the toliet "Keep on rubbing my back. That feels nice."
Thats what love is about. How nice it feels to have your S.O. rub your back as you puke into a toliet from a night of drinking.
Or how about passing your girlfriend off to your female cousin to make sure she is taken care of as you pee?
<3 the boyfriend dearly.
And advice to all that I learned from kate and liz: You can't love until you forget the past. Once the past is forgotten you can love again. But don't forget the LESSONS the past has taught you. Also, don't be bitter.
Kate and liz, I know you don't know HOW you taught me this lesson. Just know that you did. And its a great one. It has let me open my heart and my eyes to the man that may quite possibly be the love of my life :P
So there. Arnt we fucking cute?
*kissed* @ 3:41 AM
12.18.2004
You're the innocent girl next door. You are
friendly, cheerful, kind, and happy. You like
to spread your happiness around making people
feel warm and joyous. To do this you like to
bake cookie and muffins while giving kind
compliments. Plus you actually give apples to
your teachers. You're pure and innocent and
most likely haven't broken many rules. Everyone
loves you. How can they not?
What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla
*kissed* @ 6:17 PM
12.15.2004
Note to all of the crazy bitches that read my shit and feel the need to comment: Comment at your own risk. I understand this is a public blog and its for anyone to read. I also understand that I am pretty much allowed to say what ever the FUCK i want to say without asking for your approval. And i dont care if I say mean shit about your friend. Not everyone in the world will love him, let alone the person who screwed over terribly. Get over it. Or comment to your hearts content. I will just delete it. There is no point in arguing with you fucks. Seriously. Either comment and get it deleted or hold your breath and save your fingers the commenting exercise. IF you want to take it up with me try emailing me. If you ahve anything worthwhile to say I MAY dignify it with a response. Doubtful though. You may go to UT which is by standards a better school, but you are still a total moron. Book smarts is one thing, life and intellectual smarts is an entirely different thing.
Ok. Now on to my post :P
So Daylin is AMAZING. Never have I kissed a guy and had it feel so... real. Every time I kiss him its like. "Whoa. That was neat" then I kiss him again to see if I get the same results and... I do. Some times its even better depending on the type of kiss.
And i just typed up this big long thing about sex and like... i dont want to share it with the internet. Daylin is the first guy (out of my hoards of men lol. I act like im such a slut) that I have wanted to kinda just make our sex lives ours. :) Wow. This is nice.
But any way...
You can tell so much from a kiss.
Daylin: Soft. Tender. Loving. Doing it because he enjoys me and enjoys how i feel.
James: Hard. Rigid. Trying to impress. Doing it to derive tactile pleasure and less about feeling me and tasting me and enjoying me.
It makes me wonder why I ever wsted the time. I am thankful for it though. It taught me so much about how much i should cherish daylin.
And dont get me wrong. I am over james. QUITE over james. I don't miss him, I hardly ever think of him, and I certainly dont want him back... ever. I simply bring this up because like Daylin and him are NIGHT AND DAY (ha. get it. day?) and like it is so perplexing to me that I allowed myself to be in such a shtty relationship.
I dont blame it all on james at all. He wasnt tottaly a bad guy (though he was oppressive and controling and a drama queen but... what ever. what high school guy isnt?) Our personalities wernt meant for one anoter. Our relationship would have been perfect if I was weak and didnt wantf riends and only wanted to have a boyfriend. And I pretty much am strong and independent.
God. I speak so harshly of him. He wasnt really all bad... but I cant tell you a single good thing right now. Humans tend to focus on the bad and forget the good though so I guess it understandable.
The only sweet things he did for me were done so by impressing me with financial means.
He did make me a screen saver once of my favorite band. That was really sweet and spoke truly of his passions so it reminded me of him. I wont forget that.
But back to daylin, the one i adore :P
Hes just so great. As you can tell I am infatuated. Ive dedicated all my recent blog entries to him lol. He just makes me happy. Its like a perfect fit. Our lips fit together. My hand works well with his. Its so natural to kiss him awake in the morning or to kiss his chest as I am cuddled up next to it in those few moments of conciousness throught he night.
Eh. Im sunk. Tottaly sunk. Kelly knows what I am talking about too :P I need my other girls (liz and kate) to be around so they can be the first to hear these things too lol. I wish we all lived in teh same hall all right next to each other. That would rock. Hard core. Maybe kate and i should move to blanco. If only I wasnt poor.
On to liz. Damnit. I miss you. I wish we had our talk sooner in the semester so we could have hung out more and reconnected becuase we suffered a major connection loss over the semester. Fuck. I do miss you and I am so sorry about everything. I think daylin and I will make a trip down to good ol victoria over the break for a party or something. Just find us a cozy bed to crash in :P We wont be too loud. :P
Id say im gonan miss kelly and kate but odds are I wont, because I will see them.
OH. Im bringing them with me.
fin.
*kissed* @ 3:59 AM
12.14.2004
Its almost over. I can stop eating crap and stop nervous smoking and start relaxing.
One more exam that is panning out to be pretty easy. And I will prob make a C in the class I thought I would fail. KICK ASS.
Now onto more serious topics
How is it I can miss him so much already. I have never felt this before... this desire, need, and ache for someone. The second I leave his arms I just start to feel it and it intensifies with each moment I am without him. I mean the weekend was so amazing. Each night I spend with him just makes me fall deeper and deeper.
UGH. I LOVE it. I love how I feel. Its wonderful! lol.
Thank god I get to see you tomorrow. It will be fun <3
*kissed* @ 4:04 AM
12.13.2004
Why i firmly believe that conservatives may just be the STUPIDEST offshoot of humanity
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/zeiger/041210
Are you kidding me?
*kissed* @ 4:58 AM
12.12.2004
Ah. The best weekend. Ever. Well mayeb not ever but it tottaly rocked.
Friday - Left school around 5:30 to go see Daylin. Had an AMAZING night filled with cuddling, napping, and attempting to watch a movie. ;)
Saturday - Daylin and I woke up around 2 and went to go buy my mom a christmas tree and packing peanuts. Daylin experienced my dorky infatuation with christmas. Then after that my mom cooked us some kick ass food and my mother and i kicked daylins ASS at dominos. EAT THAT :P Then we went and dorked around walmart and came back to his apartment.
I wont lie. There was touching.
Then we slept. till like 3. Ha ha ha.
I came back to school and had a GREAT talk with Liz. I love ya so much and I am so glad things are resolved. I am also really sorry ive been so unfriendlike through all of this. <3
Kicked the shit outta morgan.
And here I am. Wishing daylin was here :(
P.s. I think its really funny i blocked destiny from commenting. Ha ha ha.
For all of you who have no idea who she is : She was this chick who graduated a year after me or the same year as me or something (cant remember really) who was like in love with james and hated me for the fact that we were together.
Little does she know he didnt exactly think too highly of her. BUt she pines away and says nasty things on my blog.
Im sorry. I had to perpetuate the drama because she cant comment so now she either has to obsess and go to a different computer to say nasty things or get someone else to do it or just sit there and stew. heh.
Im such a bitch. Sorry. I am PMSy and finals are stressing me out. And i pretty much love everyone that reads this... so i have to vent my frustrations some where.
And this shit is hilarious.
*kissed* @ 10:36 PM
12.10.2004
*sigh* Stay out of my life, high schoolers.
I was simply expressing some sympathies to whit. I understand where she is coming from. I am sure amy does to.
But I suppose I just need to quit being curious what goes on in whits life and quit reading her blog too. So im nevre tempted to comment.
Your IP has been blocked from commenting, and your rediculous attack on me and my boyfriend has been deleted.
*kissed* @ 5:09 PM
HERES TO ALLNIGHTERS.
My brain is broken, my eye is doing some weird bloodshot thing, and kelly and I are delirous.
heres to IHOP, the creepy waitress, kellys personal bubble being invaded.
Heres to philosophy not making much sense but making perfect since after 3 hours of random chit chat about sex, love, relationships, happiness.
Heres to knocking your mirror off your closet and not knowing how.
heres to... uhm... uh...
*kissed* @ 6:43 AM
Despite the stress I have endured this week I am so thankful and wonderfully happy.
My friends I adore.
My boyfriend I adore.
My grades wont suck as bad as I thought.
Kate is happy.
My mom is getting happier.
I am gonna start loosing weight.
I feel loved on many levels.
School is over. R&R is here!
<3
*kissed* @ 1:46 AM
12.09.2004
I change my template as much as I change my undies :P
*kissed* @ 4:30 PM
12.07.2004
I recently recieved a call from a telemarketer. Here is the transcript from that call as best as I can remember it.
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hi. May I speak with.... kah lee see uh?
Me: Uh. No. You didn't pronounce my name right?
Telemarketer: So this isnt Kah lee see?
Me: Say my name right!
Telemarketer: How do you say your name miss?
Me: Thats cheating.
Telemarketer: I am calling you from Visa. We will soon be...
Me: WHATS MY NAME?
Telemarketer: Sending you a free...
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Telemarketer: Not really mam.
Me: Ask me if I am a car?
Telemarketer: No mam. I was calling becuase...
Me: Seriously. Its funny. Ask me if I am a car!
Telemarketer: That isnt what I am calling about mam.
Me: DO IT.
Telemarketer: I am from visa and we are sending you a free packet of...
Me: Hey. I love you. Seriously. I love you.
Telemarketer: Any way...
Me: No. Seriously. I LOVE YOU.
Telemarketer: Mam Iw as calling with visa about...
Me: It is NOT cool not to say I love you back.
Telemarketer: Well Miss.
Me: Dude. Say it and I will do ANYTHING you want. Heh. Heh.
Telemarketer: I love you too.
Me: HA. You freaking said it. oh my god! Thats awesome. I dont love you! What the hell! You know, I am studying for finals and yo uinterupted me.
Telemarketer: Mam I just wanted too...
Me: Come on. Quit your job already. You dont need this shit! You really dont!
Telemarketer: Mam.
Me: I am treating you like crap. Just quit your job. Your job fucking sucks.
And she hung up.
Took her long enough. God.
*kissed* @ 9:03 PM
Daylin just left. Ah. How I wish how I was still in his arms. You are so amazing. i fall for you harder each time I kiss you.
*kissed* @ 4:18 AM
12.05.2004
And now my daylin dedicated post.. because I do that sort of thing
He is amazing. Tonight at the sca show I just fell for him even more. Finding a guy who can dance himself silly to great music is rare and having him like you is stupendous.
Sadly the night was cut short by his car breaking down in south austin. After some mild drama with tom (long story) we cuddled in his car till his mom came to pick us up and take us back to canyon lake. I felt so bad she had to drive so far but what can you do? She was sweet about it.
And he had to go home. So he isnt here holding me. Telling me sweet things. GOD i miss his already? how pathetic ar e you kelsea?
Is it creepy that i just hugged the shirt he left here?
ha ha ha. I miss him.
*kissed* @ 6:20 AM
Best Night Ever.
oh em gee. I should say best weekend ever.
Thursday
JAKES 23rd! We partied hard at tin lizzies. Kelly became inebriated some how... :P and we got to laugh at her.
friday
Keleas party. If you wernt there you missed out. Nuff said. I love CORN BARF.
saturday
Hanging with day all day, going to a sca show, and breaking down in south austin. = fun.
It is 6:19 and i just got home. FUCK. lol.
*kissed* @ 6:17 AM